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Archive for the 'Highway Patrol' Category

it occurred to me that this white house race is more like American Idol than anything else. every night i tune in to watch hours of MSNBC and CNN and network analysis of the day’s happenings in McCain, Obama, and Clinton World. i’ve gotten to the point where if i am not home, i TAPE Countdown because i need my Keith, the light that cuts through the darkness.


Obama is like the slim, handsome superhero who can smash atoms with his bare hands (okay - he’s not a great bowler, but can save the world nonetheless). he’s smart, he’s well spoken, he’s calm, he’s - what’s the word - oh yes, presidential.

Hillary is looking more and more like an educated, conservatively-dressed (albeit in bright colors), helmet-headed version of Britney Spears we gaped at a few months ago when every night was a new drama illuminated by the bad camerawork of TMZ. in news rubbernecking, she has actually replaced Britney for me. she’s like the Terminator - tear off a limb, she’s still not down and out! she refuses to die! in a way i have come to admire this, even though i think we’re wasting valuable time and money this way. and the Bosnia thing, well, that was just embarrassing beyond belief.

and then there’s McCain. now here’s a guy who looks like something out of Highway Patrol with Broderick Crawford. Crawford ended every show with a homily, my all-time favorite being ‘the clowns in the circus they’re real funny. but on the highway they’re murder.’ McCain is not the brightest bulb according to recent news stories, but looks like a Rhodes scholar next to GWB.