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March 21 - April 19 Aries
Ya know, back in early July I posited in this here column that (Aries) Rachel Maddow, who had been guest-hosting Countdown with Keith Olbermann, deserved her own TV show on MSNBC. Interestingly enough, it was recently announced that Rachel will be hosting her own nightly show in the slot right after Countdown, starting Monday September 8th, just in time to kick some election-coverage ass. (By the way, as of today, there are a mere 59 days left until November 4th.)  Coincidence? Or is my audience really growing by leaps and bounds? Go, Rachel, go!

April 20 - May 20 Taurus
Taureans; you love comfort and safety and hate it when suddenly things start to unravel. Like for instance your computer – you tend to absolutely lose it when it gets all gunked up and the internet keeps cutting in and out and strange things start to happen that just don’t seem normal. The reason this column is so late, dear readers, is that this scenario took place here at snoop du jour ville and my entire schedule was thrown off (we Tauruses hate that a whole lot too) because I had to rearrange life and work for my computer guru to magically appear and make it all better. Which he did. Because he is amazing. And if you live in Manhattan or the surrounding area and have need of the best computer consultant in town, look no further. Andy Wasserman handles everything computer related, from setting up networks to outfitting your entire office with computers, infrastructure, servers, switchers, routers, whatever it is you need – both Mac and PC. He can also set up blackberrys and enterprise servers. I have used his services many times with many clients. His email address is Andy@centralparktech.com ~ tell him Holly sent you. He is, ahem, the man.

May 21 - June 20 Gemini
Submitted for your approval: Jeffrey Jacob Abrams, otherwise known as J.J. Adams. Born under the sign of Gemini in 1966. He created, wrote, directed and produced Alias from 2001 to 2006. In 2004 he co-created a show you may have heard of called Lost, which he writes, directs and produces and has now whipped into a heady froth of time travel, sci fi, heroes and villains. His new show, Fringe, will hit the airwaves with a two-hour premiere Tuesday September 9 on Fox and early reports indicate it will attract us like moths to a flame as per usual. The plot has something to do with a mad scientist/ex-con, his son, and a female FBI agent. It has been described as The X-Files meets The Twilight Zone. All I know is I have put a date with Fringe on my calendar for next Tuesday and I am deciding what to wear.

June 21 - July 22 Cancer
Emotional! Protective! Moody! Clinging! That’s you, my dear Cancerians. Apropos of nothing except our continuing search for great food, I have just the cure for your ills: Yonah Schimmel’s Knishes Bakery on the lower East Side of Manhattan. Thanks to the how-did-we-ever-live-without-it website Yelp.com, we quote a certain Dana G. of Astoria: One day walking down the street with my wife I saw a flash of light…All I could make out was a sign that said: ‘Yonah Schimmel’s Knishes Bakery’, and I understood that this was a glimpse of the afterlife or heaven. I walked inside and purchased a Knish . . . I took bite after bite and slowly a tear started to fall down my cheek. The God of potatoes had shown me potato perfection. I looked up, smiled and mouthed “thank you”. After finishing the knish, I sat on a bench catching my breath as the world slowly came back into focus. I turned to my wife and said: “I have seen the light.” It’s on E. Houston between 2nd Ave. and Chrystie Street. Get going!

July 23-August 22 Leo
Leos need to take their extremely extroverted selves to The Theatres at 45 Bleecker Street September 9 at 10pm for a very rare treat. As part of the Howl Festival, the film Nightclubbing will be shown to a small audience.  Filmmakers Pat Ivers and Emily Armstrong were called The Lewis and Clarke of rock video by no less than The New York Times. From 1975 to 1980 they documented NYC’s punk rock scene at seminal clubs such as CBGB’s, the Mudd Club, Danceteria and more. They filmed dozens of bands including the Bad Brains, Blondie, Bush Tetras, John Cale, the Contortions, the Cramps, Dead Boys, Dead Kennedys, DNA, Go-Gos, Heartbreakers, Richard Hell and the Voidoids, Lounge Lizards, Iggy Pop, Suicide, Talking Heads, and Teenage Jesus and the Jerks. Their film offers a unique insight into a culture that had far more effect on the world than its movement could ever have imagined at the time. I can honestly say of this event - be there, or be square.

August 23 - September 22 Virgo

The city of Los Angeles was founded on September 4, 1781, making it a Virgo. The original name of LA was El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles de la Porciúncula (The Village of Our Lady, the Queen of the Angels of Porziuncola). But enough of all that. Check out Jennifer Brandt Taylor’s new guide, Vintage LA: Eats, Boutiques, Décor, Landmarks, Markets & More. JBT takes readers on an insider’s tour of the town and her publisher, Harper Collins, calls it a heartfelt homage to the city’s decadent past by a modern Hollywood dame. Her blog provides hours of entertainment as well; it’s a scrumptious must-read. By the way, New York is next; she’s working on Vintage NY right now.

September 23 - October 22 Libra
Summer is on its last legs and we’re about to enter the season of autumn - Libra time! And what an autumn we’ve got ahead! There’s the Presidential Election, for one thing! And there’s the Presidential Debates (9/26 is the first one, then 10/7, and 10/15)!  There’s…um…the Vice Presidential Debate on October 2nd! Then there’s the last day you can register to vote in the general election, which varies by state! This website has links to the official sites of all 50 states, where you can check the relevant date for registering in each state. And let me quote Rumi here regarding the change of the season from lazy summer to get-on-the-stick fall: Lord, it is time. The summer was very big. Lay thy shadow on the sundials, and on the meadows let the winds go loose. Command the last fruits that they shall be full; give them another two more southerly days, press them on to fulfillment and drive the last sweetness into the heavenly wine.

October 23 - November 21 Scorpio
Speaking of voting (obsessed are we?), I’d like to inform Scorpios and everyone else that the blog of the week is a little red henpeace, politics, yarnlife after 60 by Naomi Dagen Bloom AKA the Compost Queen of Manhattan. I met Naomi and her husband Ron last weekend whilst manning a storefront for a certain presidential candidate (hint: he’s really cute and under the age of 72). Naomi’s blog is frickin’ awesome. It’s everything a blog should be – well written, interesting, and full of great tips. One of the many items she turned me on to is the Obama Paper Doll Book from Dover Press. (Naomi writes that you get the entire nuclear family with some of the outfits you’ve seen on TV–including Michelle’s purple silk sheath from the night of the famous “fist bump.”) Visit her blog, drop her a note to get the recipe for Christine Lavin’s Barackolate Chip Cookies – with three kinds of chocolate chips: milk, white, and bittersweet. I had one; they’re fabulous!

November 22 - December 21 Sagittarius

Friends, Romans, Sagittarians; the beyond fantastic and wonderfully wise Lynda Barry is teaching a two-day Writing the Unthinkable workshop in San Francisco on November 22 and 23. I can’t think of a better birthday present to give yourself than spending two days with LB. Only 50 students will be admitted, so get a move on and sign up now. I’m here to tell you that I took a class with her in July and it changed my life and my writing forever. Enrollment is a snap ~ send a note to Betty Bong (fromthedeskofmarlys@yahoo.com) and she’ll clue you in on how to proceed. Hear me now and believe me later; Lynda will rock your goddam socks off.

December 22 - January 19 Capricorn
Let’s talk about chocolate. And pretzels. Chocolate-covered pretzels. Capricorn folks can be quite taken in by the salty and the sweet. You are a perfect mark for the visionary Jill Frechtman - a chocoholic from childhood who went from an advertising career to creating what she calls Fretzels™ and all I can say is, they are beyond the pale. These gourmet chocolate-covered pretzels are individually hand-dipped in milk, white, or dark chocolate and covered with candy toppings or drizzled with even more chocolate. Check out their many varieties; join the Fretzel of the Month Club and receive a box of each month’s specialty flavor every month. September’s flavor is Peanut Butter and Jelly, capturing the flavor of a creamy PB&J sandwich with grape jelly flavored purple white chocolate.

January 20 - February 18 Aquarius
For some reason I’ve recently started thinking about vice presidents of the United States, not sure why really. Who would have thought that our honest, humanitarian, intellectual Aquarian friends would count amongst their number one James Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States under George H.W. Bush. The Dan Quayle Vice Presidential Museum is located in Huntington, Indiana, where Mr. Quayle attended high school. He was born in Indianapolis and later became Indiana’s state senator prior to his White House stint – don’t you love the word stint?). Apparently this is the only museum dedicated to a living Vice President. You can see thousands of artifacts here including a lock of Dan’s baby hair, a golf visor he once wore, his third grade report card, and his diploma which was allegedly ripped apart by the Quayle family dog. Another Aquarian by the way is Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska.

February 19 - March 20 Pisces

Indulge your intuitive, escapist, mystical Piscean traits to the max at Sphatika, a new Holistic Treatment Center at Columbus Circle in New York City. Take relaxation to the nth degree with the Royal Sphatika Signature Experience - 3 hours of bliss which includes gentle and invigorating skin brushing, a nutrient-rich Orchid Body Mask, relaxing steam canopy, Hemp Oil body massage, and a lymphatic drainage facial. Or try a 2 hour Crystal & Cashmere Castor Oil Pack Treatment in which cashmere soaked with Castor Oil and Hemp Oil calms and restores the innate balance of the nervous, circulatory and digestive systems. They also carry their own skincare line. Vite, vite!

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This post has 5 comments. Add your own.
Tom Humes - 05 Sep 08 at 23:49:17

Nice Site layout for your blog. I am looking forward to reading more from you.

Tom Humes

Edward Vintage - 06 Sep 08 at 00:04:44

Perry W, United Kingdom, September 2007 Beautiful old ship and a memorable and enjoyable evening with a different view of Singapore. Edward Vintage

naomi dagen bloom - 06 Sep 08 at 00:14:02

extroverted and curious: can i HOWL at home if the rain comes as predicted?

Dr. Charles - 06 Sep 08 at 04:24:07

Great Site Holly. Congrats! I am afraid you are right about the emotional and moody part, but hey at least I am protective!! :)

naomi dagen bloom - 06 Sep 08 at 09:04:59

Newsflash: “Barackolate” in my blog headline brought news of a new chocolate bar by that name. Or was it my appearance here? Here’s a cluck back to you, Holly!