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March 21 - April 19 Aries
If you’re anything like me, nothing delights you more than a huge Jesus head appearing in the middle of nowhere along the boring nothingness of Route I-75 close to Cincinnati. This is the location of the Solid Rock Church in Monroe, Ohio. Word has it that the statue of Christ’s head and hands reaching up to the sky has been submitted to the Guinness Book of World Records as the World’s Largest Christ. The statue presides over a gargantuan cross and a very large peaceful baptismal pool. You really have to see it to believe it.

April 20 - May 20 Taurus
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
All I kept thinking during this week of trying to make sense of losing Tim Russert was oh no, and now he will not know who wins the General Election. I can’t think of a worse fate for this incredibly gifted newsman. His untimely death was a complete sucker punch in the soul to me and everyone else that I know. And Bruce Springsteen had a few well chosen words on the subject as well as a song.

May 21 - June 20 Gemini
We’re right on the cusp of the Summer Solstice - the longest day of the year. This signals the pagan holiday of Midsummer’s Eve. Go all Swedish and mark the occasion with boiled new potatoes and fresh dill, grilled meat or fish, and strawberries. It is said that young girls should pick flowers for under their pillow on Midsummer’s Eve and their future husbands will appear to them in a dream.

June 21 - July 22 Cancer
On July 18 Nelson Mandela will be 90 years of age. That’s totally KIF! Wish him a happy birthday by signing this card. I remember watching Mandela’s first steps out of jail on global live television in 1990 in complete and utter shock and disbelief that this man was finally free. He was later elected President of the country that had kept him prisoner, South Africa. Mandela once said: “I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”

July 23 - August 22 Leo
Alice Austen was a photographer from the age of 10 almost until she died at the age of 85 in 1952. She took amazing, stunningly beautiful photos of her family and surroundings as well as contemporary life in New York City. In the later years of her life, the family fortune after the stock market crash of 1929 had dwindled so grievously that she had to declare herself a pauper. Her photographs were discovered and published in Life Magazine and the money enabled her to live her last years in a nursing home. Now her childhood home is a national historic landmark on Staten Island.

August 23 - September 22 Virgo
If you’re like me and sometimes require the companionship of an iPod during mundane tasks like waiting in line at the bank, it’s all about the headphones apparently. And thanks to Stock Footage Goddess & Starbucks Employee of the Week Melinda, I now am in possession of Koss ‘plug’ stereophones. And simply put: you need them. They’re not even as much as $25 and they really bring the music on home, up close and personal.

September 23 - October 22 Libra
This must be the Ohio edition. I need to tell you about the Quaker Square Inn in Akron, which has a secret connection to a very special Libra that I know (not telling). The structure was formerly mills and silos used by the Quaker Oats Company back at the turn of the century. Every room in the hotel is totally round and the silos are 120 feet tall and 24 feet in diameter. You can view photos on their website but to really see how cool it is you have got to go there in person.

October 23 - November 21 Scorpio
Due to the writers strike, we won’t be getting with Jack Bauer until much later this year. God, don’t you miss him? His one dimensional acting, his manic intensity, the time he took a bite out of a guy’s ear, the certainty that whatever happened next it would be so much worse than you could even imagine, and dare I even mention Chloe?? The bitchiest, bitchenest IT genius with a soft marshmallow heart that you could ever conjure up. Remember when she was hiding the baby at her desk? If you’re a 24-head from the beginning you’ll remember well the old intros: Right now I’m <insert horrible situation here> and <insert horrible outcome here>. I’m Federal Agent Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life. So now go to 24 dreaming and you can generate zany versions of that classic open by refreshing the page. For instance: I’m Federal Agent Jack Bauer and this is the most defibrillating banshee of my life.

November 22 - December 21 Sagittarius
Chick-O-Stick. Bottle Caps. Necco Wafers. Sugar Daddy. Need I say more. Yes, you can still find all these and more at the outrageously addictive website Groovy Candies. This is the best gift in the history of the world: to rediscover the candy of your childhood. Go ahead and tell me I’m wrong.

December 22 - January 19 Capricorn
Celebrate Elvis Presley by visiting Elvisly Yours. It’s a shop in London where you can buy all things Elvis.  You know you need a talking Elvis Clock. Honestly, we really all do. You can also send Elvis greeting cards to your friends for free through the site. Coming soon: Elvis Duvets. Check out Gary “Pig” Gold’s list of the top ten reasons why Elvis rules. All Hail The King!

January 20 - February 18 Aquarius
Two words: Genya Ravan. There really is not enough room here to explain how incredible this woman is. Read her bio Lollipop Lounge where you’ll find out her amazing story from holocaust survivor to leading the first all-female band Goldie and the Gingerbreads and touring Europe with the creme de la creme of the British Invasion to being the first female record producer hired by a major label. And then go straight to the download site of your choice and download the heart stopping ballad Junkman where she duets with the formidable Ian Hunter. And there’s a lot more where that came from. Oh yeah and did I mention she now has her own radio show from 10pm to midnight the first Friday of every month on Sirius Satellite Radio Channel 25 (Little Steven’s Underground Garage). And she takes requests!

February 19 - March 20 Pisces
Let’s pretend that it’s story time and I’ll tell a tale to you, I’ll tell you a story of make believe and all your dreams will come true. And when the story’s over and when we reach the end, we’ll live happily ever after where? In the Land of Let’s Pretend.
Those lyrics were sung every afternoon on Gene London’s TV show Cartoon Corners, a children’s show broadcast on local TV in Philadelphia from 1959 to 1977. Gene played a store clerk in a general store who had an evil, stingy boss. Of course Gene was in love with the boss’ beautiful daughter. After the TV show was cancelled London became a dress designer and owned a collection of incredible Hollywood movie costumes. Sometime in the early 1980’s my compatriot Dayle and I (who had both been guests on the TV show as children) went to his store in Manhattan so we could meet this man who we had both had a raging crush on when we were eight years old.

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