March 21 - April 19 Aries
Ram on, Aries people. It’s Thanksgiving already, where does the time go?! I know you eschew sentimentality and prefer to jump into life sans frills. N’est-ce pas? I also know that you love weird and wacky historical facts. Corn for corn’s sake is good too. Point your mouse to culture vs content and take the Corny Thanksgiving Trivia test. Is Indian corn edible? Where did the word “turkey” come from? And the ship that brought the Pilgrims to America was originally intended to bring over what item to the New World? (hint: not people) A wonderful person named Bonnie does this blog and it is worth a long visit for the posts, photography, and haiku.

April 20 - May 20 Taurus
I’m breaking my rule of not repeating things here, because I took my own advice in this here column and went to see Amanda Palmer and the Danger Ensemble at Webster Hall. Ms. Palmer (a Taurus) and her merry gang provided one of the best live concerts I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen several (trust me on this). It was one of those rare occasions when you know that a year from now people will be saying, you were there at Webster Hall that night? with starry eyes. I’m going to write a whole blog post about Amanda so check back in the next week or so. There’s not enough room in this format to say everything that needs to be said. In the meantime go here. And here. And here. Watch everything. Listen to her new album. Read her blog. And she’s still on the road, so if you’re in Pittsburgh, Toronto, Ferndale MI, Chicago, Minneapolis, Denver, Aspen, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, Sacramento, San Francisco, or LA – go. Just go.

May 21 - June 20 Gemini
Gemini is a curious mix of adaptability and superficiality. Sometimes you need to flex that good-deed muscle a little and get out of your comfort zone. Things are pretty dire right now in the USA – in the world, actually – and here’s a way you can put a smile on someone’s face easily. And rack up some good karma, which we all could use. Thanks to KarmaTube, here’s a story about a Starbucks drive-thru in Loveland, Colorado where people were amazed to get to the window and find out that their coffee was paid for by the person in front of them in line. Lindell Green, a beneficiary of this karma gesture, paid for the person behind him when this happened. So guess what? It’s not just Loveland, Colorado. It’s not just Starbucks. The CNN story documents another random act of kindness taking place at a supermarket elsewhere in the country. Apparently it’s spreading. Like a disease in a Stephen King novel. A disease called pay-it-forward.

June 21 - July 22 Cancer
Moonchildren and everyone else; as we gather around the Thanksgiving table with family and friends this year and express our gratitude for our blessings (try doing this every day by the way; it will change your life), let’s also mark next Monday, December 1st, on the calendar for World Aids Day. World Aids Day was created exactly ten years ago to raise awareness of the pandemic caused by HIV infection. The date is observed globally by governments, charities, and international organizations. This year you can search the World Aids Day website to find events anywhere in the world. You can find interesting and creative ways to get involved and raise awareness. You can learn about HIV and get the facts about this terrifying disease.

July 23 - August 22 Leo
It’s my feeling that the Leos among us would really dig Dominick Dunne in the unlikely event they don’t already follow his prose as he covers the trials and tribulations of the rich and famous. Mr. Dunne is an investigative journalist who writes for Vanity Fair Magazine. Without fail, his is the first article I go to when I get my copy in the mail. His birds’ eye view of the rarified celebrity lifestyle is always absolutely riveting. Read a collection of twenty five years of his adventures chronicling the greatest scandals of our time from O.J. Simpson to Claus Von Bülow to Imelda Marcos to the Menendez Brothers to Brooke Astor to Princess Diana and more. My advice: get a big dish of ice cream and settle down and read them all. Make sure all the lights are on. Before you settle in, though, go to this site and wish Mr. Dunne a speedy recovery from cancer.

August 23 - September 22 Virgo
Let us now celebrate the genius that is Elvis Costello, who is a Virgo by the way. There is certainly not enough room here to discuss all the varied strands of his fabulosity. But I want you to be sure and catch his new TV show which debuts Wednesday, December 3 on the Sundance Channel at 9pm. Spectacle: Elvis Costello With… invites viewers to enjoy an intimate conversation between Costello and his guests, sprinkled with musical performances. The debut show features Sir Elton John. Upcoming episodes have Declan McManus (his real name) chatting with Bill Clinton, Lou Reed, James Taylor, The Police, and more. I personally cannot think of anyone I’d rather sit down to tea with than Elvis Costello.

September 23 - October 22 Libra
My favorite all-time Libra is John Lennon. I was surprised and amused to read this week that the Pope has officially forgiven Lennon for his remark in March 1966 that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. Apparently, the Vatican’s official newspaper has absolved J.L. 42 years after the statement was made to a teen magazine called Datebook as part of an interview while the Beatles did their last American tour. L’Osservatore Romano said, “After so many years it sounds merely like the boasting of an English working-class lad struggling to cope with unexpected success.” For those who don’t remember, Lennon’s off the cuff remarks that he’d observed that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus at that time caused a huge shitstorm that ended up with Beatle records and memorabilia being set on fire. Radio stations stopped playing Beatle records. It was huge. And terrifying. And it was a world far unlike our own today in every way you can imagine. Lennon was made to apologize in front of the world at a press conference because of the vast carnage that his remark caused. One has to think that he’s up there shaking his head in wonder that he has now been pardoned by the Catholic Church. Good on ya, Johnny.

October 23 - November 21 Scorpio
And then there’s ripxoid. Avast ye Scorpio hearties, this is a handsome blog that takes on subjects like Philip K. Dick, pocket-sized primates, Obama, film noir, et cetera. You gotta love a blog with these categories: Bullshit, Movies, Music, Photos, Politics, Video, Web, and Weird News. That’s all I care about! Thank you Jeff Kopp of Garage Punk fame for birthing this baby. Writes Jeff: Yep, this is it. The very first post on a very new blog. Ah yes, just what the world needs, right? More blogs! Yeah, well, so what? Everyone has something to say (even if it isn’t entirely original) and I think us ‘xoidians have just as much if not MORE wacked-out, cool, crazy, funny or just plain INTERESTING stuff to say as any other group of geeks, so let’s make this happen.

November 22 - December 21 Sagittarius
Methinks that the refined sensibilities of the Sagittarian would thoroughly enjoy my favorite Scorsese film of all time, The King of Comedy. Released in 1982, the film is about nerdy geeky Rupert Pupkin (played by Robert DeNiro in what I think is his best role ever) and his obsession with becoming a comedian. He lives in his mother’s basement and play acts scenarios where he is a talk show guest discussing his glorious career. He idolizes talk show host Jerry Langford, played spectacularly by Jerry Lewis. I can’t tell you any more, but one of the taglines was: Nobody knows Rupert Pupkin, but by 11:30 tonight, the whole world will know he’s . . . THE KING OF COMEDY.

December 22 - January 19 Capricorn
Ah Capricorn! Pull up a chair and let’s talk about independent bookstores, shall we? I know you love new books. This week I’ve chosen Pandemonium Booksellers & Café located in beautiful Wasilla, Alaska. According to their website, they are an energetic, comfortable, bookstore & gourmet beverage/dessert establishment. Open every day of the week, this bastion of the free press also provides online ordering. It’s great to know that Wasilla has an indie bookstore. You betcha!

January 20 - February 18 Aquarius
Every once in awhile don’t you suddenly crave hummus? I do and when that urge comes on I go to Jerusalem Restaurant located between 103rd St. and 104th St. on Broadway. The place is the size of a postage stamp. Seriously, my living room is larger and I have a New York apartment. They’re open late, and they have great falafel as well as shwarma, baba ganoush, stuffed grape leaves, and more. I know that Aquarians have been known to hanker for middle eastern food on occasion. Well, hanker here.

February 19 - March 20 Pisces
Speaking of the Catholic Church…Pisceans everywhere need to know about the 33-foot tall stainless steel statue of Our Lady Queen of Peace in New Castle, Delaware. The 8,400 pound statue, sculpted by Charles C. Parks, was dedicated on May 25, 2007 at the Holy Spirit Church. According to their website, At Fatima Our Blessed Mother revealed that Our Lord intends the present world to be saved through devotion to her Immaculate Heart. We have built a statue to make this message known to countless numbers of people who otherwise would not know Her.  In her desire to save her children, she has asked us to Pray The Rosary. In our world of many realities, we have known the REALITY OF THE POWER OF PRAYER. All the prayers we have ever said are ours - a real wealth - treasures stored up for us in heaven.  The Rosaries Our Lady asks for are ours to give - a treasury of prayer for her to use. She needs these Prayers NOW to give to her children in need. Parks, the sculptor, also made another huge steel Mary in Santa Clara, California. The Delaware Mary holds out her arms to bless the travelers on the nearby Delaware Memorial Bridge. It is apparently possible to enter a door at the base of the statue and go up a ladder to view the inside of her immaculate heart.

March 21 - April 19 Aries
Sign of the Ram; you’re adventurous, courageous, spontaneous. And you’re really really ready for the Labor Day Weekend, aren’t you? Yeah babe - it shows. You just can’t wait to kick back and relax for a few days before entering the last quarter of 2008. Here’s some history: President Grover Cleveland instituted Labor Day as a national holiday in 1894, after workers for the Pullman company walked out when the company’s owners laid off hundreds of workers and forced those who were left to accept devastating pay cuts. The workers lived in the town of Pullman, Illinois, a ‘utopian community’ built by company president George Pullman. The lowest paid workers lived in row houses (rent was deducted from their wages), small Victorian homes were reserved for managers, and a luxury hotel housed Pullman himself and guests of the company. The Labor Day holiday was a concession that President Cleveland finally made in order to get votes during an election year (he lost).

April 20 - May 20 Taurus
Taureans, I know you love comfort and stability and luxury and cleanliness. I know this, being a card-carrying Taurean myself. Well, this year is the 60th Anniversary of Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap – yes, they’re still around and just as good as ever. Emmanuel Bronner was the third generation in a German-Jewish family of soapmakers going back to 1858. The liquid and bar soaps came to America in 1929 and Bronner established the company in its current form in 1948. Not only are the soaps (still) all-natural and eco-friendly and smell amazing, but each bottle is covered with densely packed, small text written by the original (now deceased) Dr. Bronner explaining his philosophy of life. Ergo: Love is like a willful bird, do you want it? It flies away! Yet, when you least expect its bliss, it turns around and it’s here to stay! Download the labels for all the soaps on the company website; read the timeline; watch the trailer for Sara Lamm’s film Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soapbox (saving the world…one bottle of soap at a time) – buy the DVD and learn more about this interesting man and his vision. And go get yourself a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s!

May 21 - June 20 Gemini
Gemini – The Twins. As in, the Twin Cities. As in, the world’s eyes will be on Minneapolis-St. Paul next week when the donkeys do their dance on the world stage. What a summer, eh? First the Olympics, then the Dems, and now the GOP. I wonder if Prince will be in town for this shindig, or will he jet off to Vegas for a few days? In any case, there are so many great things to see in Minnesota’s capital (St. Paul) and it’s sister Minneapolis, there really isn’t time and space to talk about them here. But I’d like to tell you about the storied Lakewood Cemetery on Hennepin Avenue, considered to be one of the most beautiful final resting places in the country. The chapel, designed by architect Henry Wild Jones in the Byzantine style, is listed on the National Registry of Historic Places. The cemetery itself is chock full of famed Minnesotans: Frank C. Mars (creator of the Milky Way candy bar), John S. Pillsbury (founder of Pillsbury and also 8th governor of the state), H. David Dalquist (inventor of the Bundt pan), Hubert Humphrey (as in former VP and also Minnesota State Senator), Karl Mueller (bassist for Soul Asylum), and Tiny Tim (no explanation needed, I hope).

June 21 - July 22 Cancer
Cancers love to cling. Well here’s something to cling to, you crazy kids. O Ye Jigs & Juleps! is a series of essays written in 1904 by 10 year old Virginia Cary Hudson, then a student at an Episcopalian boarding school. The essays were discovered years later in a locked trunk and the book was published in 1962, after which it became a national best seller. The ten essays cover subjects such as Etiquette at Church (Never punch people in church, or giggle or cross your legs. Crossing your legs is as bad as scratching or walking in front of people or chewing gum or saying damn), Education (Education is what you learn in books, and nobody knows you know it but your teacher), Personal Appearance (Personal appearance is looking the best you can for the money), and Everlasting Life (I sure am glad Jesus is going to be in Heaven because if I get in trouble he will be there to help me out). In Virginia’s essay on Sacraments she notes sagely, When you are little and ugly somebody carries you in church on a pillow, and you come out a child of God and inheritor of the Kingdom of Heaven. They pour water on your head and that’s a sacrament. When you are twelve you walk back in yourself with your best dress and shoes on, and you walk up to the Bishop, and he stands up, and you kneel down, and he mashes on your head and you are an Episcopal. Then you are supposed to increase in spirit.

July 23 - August 22 Leo
Lionhearted Leos are creative, generous, and extroverted. You’ll no doubt love the new website for The Girlie Girl Army – Your Guide to Glamazon Living, in which Chloe Jo Berman and her posse break it all down for us. CJB is a writer, animal rescue heroine, radio host, ethical fashion expert, and the site describes her as straight up Prada, with a side of Patchouli and every intention of being the green Rachel Ray. She will soon have her own television show and she also has a book on eco-friendly beauty coming out later this year. The Girlie Girl weekly newsletter clues you in to all kinds of necessary information from gourmet food (usually vegan) to vintage clothing stores to great books to wacky news stories to interesting jewelry items and so much more, it makes my head hurt. Sign up for the weekly newsletter. Visit the archives. You’ll be fascinated for days.

August 23 - September 22 Virgo
Intelligent……meticulous……and above all, reliable Virgos will love the terrific Martini Loft Alcove located on the mezzanine level of Kansas City’s Aladdin Hotel. I know KC has a plethora of other fun places to visit but I was recently there for 24 hours (don’t ask, don’t tell) and I didn’t get to see much besides the Martini Loft Alcove – however I did see enough to know that this is a place I really want to go back and spend some time in. The Aladdin Hotel is listed on the National Historic Register and underwent extensive restoration in the Spring of 2007 to bring back the original art deco ambiance, now married passionately to a vintage hip ethos. It’s also right in the heart of downtown KC, just steps away from the ultra-groovy Power and Light District. The hotel rooms have been spectacularly redesigned and are at once classic and fabulously stylish. The hotel also has a brand new spa.

September 23 - October 22 Libra
Urbane, sociable, easygoing Libra ladies – have you ever had a problem finding a bra that really fits? No, I mean REALLY fits. There is absolutely nothing that feels so good as wearing a bra that fits correctly. Thanks to Alan and Lori Kaplan’s Bra*Tenders, a cozy den of undergarments of every size and stripe, you too can achieve this wonderful feeling. Aside from their 30 plus years of experience with theatrical, bridal, and full-busted custom-fittings and sales, the store also has an overflowing stockroom with panties, accessories, and hosiery in a vast price range. The other thing that makes them special is their one-on-one service. Because they spend so much time with each client, custom-fittings are only by appointment (call 888-GET-A-BRA). The only exception is for theatrical clients, of which there are many. Bra*Tenders is a staple for wardrobe supervisors and costume designers for Broadway shows, feature films, and hit TV shows.

October 23 - November 21 Scorpio
Being the magnetic, compulsive, mysterious Scorpio that you are, you have an insatiable need to have the newest gadget as soon as it hits the market. Therefore you have – naturally – the coolest cellphone du jour, the iPhone. You probably bought the original model and then upgraded it recently to the new 3G. Am I right? Of course right! Members of the tribe – I’m talking chosen people here – please to check out a couple of new iPhone apps targeted specifically for youse guys (thank you Kati, a blessing on your keppele!). There is the ParveOMeter - a timer that figures out the amount of time our kosher friends must take between eating milk and meat products. And there’s also iBlessing, which is an ingenious way to keep straight all the different blessings for whatever food or drink you happen to be ingesting, plus bonus blessings for after the meal and washing your hands. The best part? Both of these awesome apps are free. Oy! Such a bargain!

November 22 - December 21 Sagittarius
Sag, you saucy wench you. You’re intellectual, optimistic, and you love to live the high life. If I may quote Smokey Robinson, my mama told me you better shop around. Deborah Mayer is the brains behind Shop Around Tours. After a lucrative career in entertainment Ms. Mayer completely reinvented herself to create this service catering to frugal fashionistas. Oh if only Carrie Bradshaw and her gang had known about this when Sex and the City was on the air. Basically it’s all about going to Italia, staying in four star hotels, and dropping cash on amazing bargains (think Prada, Gucci, Fendi et al). The November 8-15 tour of 3 Italian cities is completely sold out, but you can sign up now for next spring’s tour of Milan, Venice, Florence and Rome. And a tour of Tuscany is planned for October 2009. What are you waiting for? Andiamo!

December 22 - January 19 Capricorn
Even the practical, careful, patient Capricorns among us will be amused by the website of the week – UrbanDictionary.com, which was founded by software engineer Aaron Peckham in 1999. Time Magazine counts this among the 50 best websites of the year, and they’re a pretty reputable source. Literally hours of fun can be had here looking up crazy terms like mis-wave (To return a wave to someone you think is waving at you, but is actually waving to the person behind you. Usually results in embarrassment and introversion), deface (To remove a ‘friendship’ from facebook due to having either accidentally adding him/her as a friend or actually adding them and reconsidering later), and ideagasm (The physical manifestation of an idea so wonderful that it sends waves of ecstasy from the ears to the tips of the toes). There are even two books for sale that are compendiums of the material on the website, which is all contributed by viewers like you!

January 20 - February 18 Aquarius
This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius ~ you GO, water bearer! You’re moving and grooving and surfing ze web, and someone sends you a link and you’re all excited to check it out, and bam! it goes nowhere. Quel pain in the ass! Well, now there is a site that you can go to check if the problem is your computer or not. Down For Everyone Or Just Me? is a brilliant little site that will tell you instantly where the problem lies. It was created by Alex Payne, a software engineer from Twitter. From Alex’s blog al3x.net: It’s running off of a tiny Gandi VPS and the code is a couple hundred lines (including templates) of Ruby, powered by the Sinatra micro web framework. I’m running four instances of the application behind Nginx, and save for the occasional slow request it’s been standing up pretty well (low load on the box, response times are usually fast). God I love it when they talk like this – it’s like Latin or morse code. Sexy!

February 19 - March 20 Pisces
The download of the week is for our romantic, sensitive, ichthyological Piscean friends and trends toward the ritual of the holiday weekend back in the olden days when people could afford to fill up the gas tank and travel for four days. Trains and Boats and Planes is Laura Cantrell’s first recording in three years, the first since the birth of her baby daughter. The digital EP contains Cantrell’s interpretations of a number of travel-themed classics like Merle Haggard’s Silver Wings, New Order’s Love Vigilantes, and the title song by Hal David and Burt Bacharach. Laura is quoted on her website: “I love these songs, and though some are a bit melancholy, that was part of the process. The songs allowed me to explore the emotional spaces created by some big changes in my life that had left me unsure of my bearings. And I’d always wanted an excuse to record a Bacharach tune.” Elvis Costello stated, “If Kitty Wells made Rubber Soul, it would sound like Laura Cantrell.”

March 21 - April 19 Aries
Escape into the starkly beautiful black&white photographs of Ronnie Farley, award-winning photojournalist and author of Women Of The Native Struggle: Portraits and Testimony of Native American Women (The Library of the American Indian), Cowgirls: Contemporary Portraits of the American West, and Diary of A Pedestrian: A New York Photo Memoir. Farley’s work captures and illuminates the quiet strength and dignity of her subjects in a way that observes without judgment. She’s very special. Currently showing at the Sheldon Art Galleries in St. Louis, Missouri, the Cowgirls Series is on tour through a grant from the Mid-America Arts Alliance from now until 2010. More info, books and prints here.

April 20 - May 20 Taurus
Staying in New York City for the long weekend? May I suggest a trip to the largest gothic cathedral in the world, The Cathedral Church of St. John the Divine. Not only do they conduct tours of this vast structure, but you can also throw a Medieval Birthday Party here (now that’s a reason to become a child again if ever I heard one). This Monday night at 8pm come on down and enjoy a free concert by the New York Philharmonic. Now that’s a Memorial Day.

May 21 - June 20 Gemini
We lost Dean Johnson last September, and I still can’t wrap my head around the realization that this unforgettable big-hearted towering presence of the New York City club scene is gone. Whether or not you knew him, come out and celebrate his incredible life on what would have been his 47th birthday, Friday May 30 at Don Hill’s. Both bands that he oh-so-fiercely led, Dean and the Weenies and the Velvet Mafia, will play extended sets with copious guest artists. All proceeds benefit Sylvia’s Place, providing emergency shelter to gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transexual, and/or transgendered youth.

June 21 - July 22 Cancer
Yes, the Sex in the City movie is finally coming out next week and you can see what happens to the quartet from swingsville on the big screen. But allow me to draw your attention to the just-released DVD Square Pegs - The Complete Series. This 1982 television series starred a very young Sarah Jessica Parker (’Patty’) as a high school freshman who tries to fit in. She is the center point of a posse of ’square pegs’ which includes actors John Femia (as comic Marshall Bletchtman) and Merrit Butrick (as New Waver Johnny Slash). Sarah and her best friend Lauren (played by Amy Linker) try to impress the ‘cool kids.’ On the fringe of it all is television’s most obnoxious and preppiest Jewish American princess, Muffy Tepperman (splendidly played by Jami Gertz). Perhaps all that needs to be said is that this series was created and written by the amazing Anne Beatts.

July 23 - August 22 Leo
While you’re on the upper west side visiting St. John the Divine, stop off on Amsterdam Ave. between 101st and 102nd Streets and have the world’s best hot chocolate (outside of Mexico) at Noche Mexicana. One of the city’s best kept secrets, this is totally a family operation. The hot chocolate is made the traditional Mexican way with melted chocolate and cinnamon folded in. Well worth a stop, and the food is great too.

August 23 - September 22 Virgo
Jack Kerouac is known for many iconic books, but my personal favorite is one you may never have heard of -Maggie Cassidy. It’s an incredibly sharp snapshot of 1930’s American life in a small town and the agony & ecstasy of Young Love. Revisit the most painful and beautiful time of your life in this book, before you were fully formed and knew the ways of the world.

September 23 - October 22 Libra
Because it’s a long weekend, your suggested download of the week is a full album: the magnificent Imperial Bedroom by Elvis Costello. This 1982 gem was produced impeccably by Geoff Emerick who made his name as an engineer with a little band called the Beatles. Costello’s voice is like mahogany velvet on these songs, suffused with both heavy irony and, on some of them, musical touches like a 40-piece orchestra. Maybe you don’t believe my heart is in the right place / Why don’t you take a good look at my face / Other boys use the splendour of their trembling lip / They’re so teddy bear tender and tragically hip (Town Cryer, (c) Elvis Costello).

October 23 - November 21 Scorpio
One of our more wellknown Scorpio Sisters is the formidable Hillary Rodham Clinton. HRC: I know you’re getting a lot of unsolicited advice these days and you’ll quite probably never read this, but stop re-making the rules and be gracious. That’s all I’m sayin’.

November 22 - December 21 Sagittarius
Your lucky number is 4815162342. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to watch the Season Finale of LOST next Thursday night. Will they - won’t they - who are they really - and where the hell did Claire go?

December 22 - January 19 Capricorn
I admit it; I’m addicted to Green Tea. Ever since I found ITO EN’s TEAS’ TEA, now available in plastic bottles in your local grocery store, I’ve become a junkie for the stuff. Hey - it’s actually really good for you too. Try this instead of a can of soda and see how good you feel afterward.

January 20 - February 18 Aquarius
Discover Six-Word Memoirs. It seems that Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words, to which he replied: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” SMITH Magazine re-upped the ante by asking contributors for their own six-word memoirs and made a cool book out of ‘em, Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure. They range from haunting (”Cursed with cancer. Blessed by friends”) to hilarious (”Catholic school backfired. Sin is in!”).

February 19 - March 20 Pisces
You can’t buy it, but you can hear it here: the supremely fabulous 12-inch version of Nona Hendryx’s 1982 dance hit Keep It Confidential. Nona was one-third of Labelle (and their primary songwriter), but also a solo artist of ultra-cool reknown. She is all that and then some, and this song is one of her finest creations.