Back to Home

March 21 - April 19 Aries
Three words: Big. Fat. Brain. Investigate thoroughly and rejoice in their sweet unholy genius as they unveil yet another crazy viral hit today on My Damn Channel: Sn4tchbuckl3r’s Second Chance.

April 20 - May 20 Taurus
Another year under your belt, congratulations! Celebrate by going to see fellow Taurean Miss Elizabeth Stamatina Fey’s new movie, Baby Mama, this weekend. Any movie that has both Amy Poehler and Tina Fey in it has to be worth two hours of your time. And by the way, if you haven’t already, start obsessing frantically over the brilliance of Tina’s contribution to the arid landscape of television comedy: 30 Rock. Fall deeply and desperately in love with Alec Baldwin.

May 21 - June 20 Gemini
O Gemini, I urge you to go to iTunes and download this week’s scoop* du jour pick of the week: I Am Waiting by the Rolling Stones. From Aftermath, released in 1966. A tiny slice of pure fabulousness, with dulcimer. It’s unlikely you ever heard this song on the radio – discover it today as if it were a succulent peach, and enjoy it as the juice dribbles down your chin.

June 21 - July 22 Cancer
Girlfriends, sign up posthaste for the Girlie Girl Army email list (tailored to NY, LA, Philly, Atlanta, or SF) – Your Guide to Glamazon Living. Quoth the wickedly wonderful Chloe Jo (list owner): Are you so sick of snobby girlie sites telling you were to buy Free Range Kobe beef or how to travel in Private planes? That is SO not our spiel (as if!!). We are their smarter older sister who wouldn’t be caught dead in fur, knows who the hottest band is before they hit the airwaves (and maybe even dated the drummer), and scour vintage stores like lunatics. You’ll be clicking unsubscribe on all those cheesy newsletters before we can say Green Goddess. Recipes, sales, causes, books, music, pets, veganism, ecology and all that good stuff tailored to your geographical location.

July 23 - August 22 Leo
The Leo of the Week is the redoubtable Helen Thomas, born in Winchester, Kentucky on August 4, 1920 and still going strong. She’s been kicking ass on the White House beat since JFK’s time and earlier this week took current White House spokesperson Dana Perino to task about Bush’s recent admission he signed off on torture. Watch it here. Send her flowers!!

August 23 - September 22 Virgo
If you live in New York City or your travels take you there, get yourself to the Kellari Taverna on 44th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues and make sure to order the Katsikisio specialty appetizer: warm goat cheese baked with dried apricots, Metaxa & Almond. Um, words fail me.

September 23 - October 22 Libra
Netflix the classic 1965 film Cat Ballou. In which Jane Fonda plays a smokin’ hot schoolteacher in Wyoming who hires a gunfighter to avenge her father’s murder. Said gunfighter is played hilariously by Lee Marvin. Throughout the film, Nat King Cole and Stubby Kaye provide a running musical commentary on the plot’s twists and turns.

October 23 - November 21 Scorpio
If you’re living in or visiting Los Angeles, sign up for an Esotouric Bus Adventure. These folks are sick and twisted in just the way we like. Upcoming tours including Raymond Chandler’s Los Angeles (May 3rd), Blood and Dumplings (May 10th), The Real Black Dahlia (June 21st). Speaking of weird LA, check out the 1947project.

November 22 - December 21 Sagittarius
O Best Beloved, please to visit the Best Web Site ever made - The Saint of the Month Club, unfortunately no longer active but you can still spend hours there. Glory, Glory, Glory! Josh Gosfield, who among other things was the Art Director of New York Magazine for 10 years, is responsible for this beauty.
Read more here.

December 22 - January 19 Capricorn
Develop a raging crush on Keith Olbermann, and indulge in your weeknightly fix at 8pm on MSNBC. Go there, and be healed. This man’s insights on the current state of the world shine like a light through the darkness of the parade of horribles, yet he can still say sentences like “Sometimes when we focus too much on who will lead our country, we lose sight of the important things, like celebrity babies.”

January 20 - February 18 Aquarius
It’s finally Spring. Hurry up and get outside before it’s Summer, which global warming indicates could be as early as ten minutes from now. Zingah!

February 19 - March 20 Pisces
Change your middle name legally to Hussein.