My idea for the next spin-off from THE HILLS is…….drum roll, please:

Stephanie Pratt.

Consider this:
She’s a total airhead - California style (the funniest kind)
She’s the sister of Spencer Pratt - need I say more?
She’s the sister in law of Heidi Pratt - let’s not even go there

Now that THE HILLS is woefully Lauren-less, that husky voiced bitch Kristin Cavallari just doesn’t cut it for me in the Drama Dept. On the few recent occasions my remote has snagged the show, my only entertainment is scenes that include Stephanie…she’s a complete headcase. Last season when Lauren hired her to work at the PR co. and she brilliantly fucked up, and couldn’t even answer a phone correctly, was tres entertaining, n’est-ce pas? Imagine a whole show that revolved around that person.

SP is fascinating to me, in the way that an animal growing in a petrie dish or something along those lines is. Bring it on, MTV, bring it on. Audrina, Lo, snore, snore, Kristin, Spencer, Heidi, snore. Mark my words. Stephanie’s the Next Big Thing.

And that’s my way cool item of the day.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen; I can’t keep up doing the scoop every week, it’s too much work, alas. Until such time as someone starts throwing me vast sums of cash to do it, I will be cutting back to a bi-weekly schedule. Therefore, the next two weekend horoscoop*s will be posted here and on the Huffington Post Thursday June 11 and Thursday June 25. Please continue to send me ideas for places, music, books, films, tv shows, art openings, restaurants, et al to cover.

Meanwhile, I’d love for you to check out my Rubbernecking column this week on HuffPo. On Monday I wrote about the finale of The Hills, Lauren’s last show and Speidi’s wedding. It’s almost refreshing to watch a program where no one seems to have anything resembling a personality. Today I wrote about the insane ratings bonanza that is Jon & Kate Plus 8 through the eyes of a child of divorce (this is a show where lack of personality is not a problem, except perhaps in Jon’s case).

I also started a new column for Mark Blankenship’s awesome blog The Critical Condition today, The Price Point. This week I took on television advertising, in particular ads created for Apple products. Please to enjoy. And have a great weekend!